Forgiveness

It didn’t take long for Hamilton to seep its way into my blog. It was going to happen sooner or later.

On my most recent viewing of Hamilton (I’m close to approaching double digits), I cried alligator tears when Eliza, having been so violated and humiliated, forgave.

The ability to move past pain to see the goodness in someone (everyone has goodness in them, somewhere) is a feeling I understand too well. There is no question he earned his spot in the doghouse. But she forgave him. And we felt a sense of relief at her grabbing his hand – forgiveness.

That piece of history happened. That kind of forgiveness is real and it is profound.

I’ve been struggling with when forgiveness is justified. Relationships evolve. Friendships change. We change. We evolve. What was once forgivable might no longer be. What was once friendship-ending might now be forgivable.

We are complex. We are not stagnant. We change and so too does our tolerance for maintaining grievances.

After all, I’m over 40. I don’t have time or energy or patience for fights with friends. If someone is without remorse, no one would question walking away. But, if someone seeks forgiveness, why not grant it and move past? What is the benefit of not?

If there’s anything these most recent years have shown me, it’s that tomorrow is not to be wasted. You’re lucky to be granted it.

Before my father died, he resolved a years’ long family stalemate. It was beautiful to see. As his child, I’m grateful he had that feeling of resolution and forgiveness. What a gift to him, and to us, and to all involved, that he had that.

I’ve had more than my fair share of opportunities to forgive and seek forgiveness. And it’s always a mercy on the soul to grant or be granted forgiveness.

Forgiveness is never wrong. Taking it for granted is.