Oversharer

I overshare. And it’s not because I think everyone needs to know everything about me. It’s because, for some reason, my gauge for things to hold tight to the chest, is broken.

I tell people private things about me that most people would keep secret of themselves. And it’s not because I am bold and brave. It’s because I trust people with things I shouldn’t.

It’s the gauge.

I never considered, one way or the other, why I do this. Being open with my truths has been a driver behind the closeness of many of my friendships. If I am willing to give of myself, they feel more confident doing the same with me. I’d like to think that my lack of respect for my personal secrets is why I have the strong and deep friendships I do.

HOWEVER

It’s not without a major downside. Everything I say can and will be used against me in a court of public opinion, private opinion, and risk of further exposure to people with whom I didn’t trust my secret. For me it’s a give and take. I share because I appreciate the value of commisseration, validation or support.

Using this against me has been a talent of the people who regard my trust as gossip or weakness. I have trusted the wrong people because I knee-jerk trust everyone.

I overshare. I undervalue the things I say and feel and think and experience, and I struggle to further reduce the sets of eyes on my inner thoughts.

Learning with age, who to trust, when to trust, and with what to trust, is an ongoing practice. Age has shown me that I do it. Age has shown me the risks being an oversharer poses to my life, my safety and my sense of self worth.

To share is to trust. To overshare is to overtrust. And therein lies the problem.